I don’t do big goal plans and objectives any more. There is a place for them in the managing of projects and I have learned in wisdom that I am not a project. I am the greatness of God’s greatest gift: a person living a human experience in a time when so much is possible and so much more can be experienced. That is my purpose.
I create meaning in my human experience. It is what becomes the drive. It’s not goals and objectives. It is the intentions I seek that are of “who I am”. So I borrowed a term from Leo Babauta – ZenHabits: Big Rocks. I keep present to my big rocks and as each day unfolds, my actions align or they don’t.
The big rocks, one could argue, are goals. Well, sorta, kinda, maybe not. I can conclude a big rock only after I have fully experienced what I seek from it and if it meets some goal someone sets for it, more power to it. Just go with it until it stops going anywhere.
I suspect this comes from the BS world. (Blank Slate theory – you can read about it in Mike Jay and others in a book called @F-L-O-W). In the Blank Slate (Jay calls it BS and reminds us how it dominates our mindsets in the US), you can “be whatever you want to be” regardless of the circumstances you are in or your capacity to deal with stuff required to get somewhere.
New Year’s Resolutions are notorious for failure, and while failure is essential for growth, I suspect there are much better ways to deal with growth. Certainly failure is a workable start for any change as we well know. That’s where I would start. Only I would start with an intention, a creation of meaning for you in your human experience which touches, moves, and inspires you and others. Broadcast it if you wish, share it with those closest to you and go for it. But for the sake of clarity, try not to make it a New Year’s resolution. At least then you won’t let guilt and shame drive you.
Make a big rock. Something meaningful to you. Pray on it or meditate. Get to really know yourself and feel the possibility the intention you have has for you in your experience of joy, love, peace, etc. -things you value.
Write down the big rocks on your desktop, mirror, inside front door, refridge. It’s not a goal, its an intention. Some days its present and others it is not.
That is OK. Go for it. Let this IF be your guide:
By Rudyard Kipling
(‘Brother Square-Toes’—Rewards and Fairies)
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:
If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;
If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools:
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!
Source: A Choice of Kipling’s Verse (1943)